Why Do You Want To Know God More?

    In Jeremiah 29:13 it says, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all of your heart." When we are being completely honest with ourselves, are we seeking God with every part of our hearts? Are we dying to self daily, taking up our cross and following Jesus DAILY? And lastly, which points to the title of this post, why do we want to know God more? 
    I am currently reading a book about being called to be a missionary and as I was reading I came across a part that was describing how we want to know Gods will for our lives. We ponder the thoughts of things like what college should i go to, should i take that job position, who should i marry, etc. We all have things in our life that we want answers to and we desire to get to know God better to get those answers. We know God has the answers and he has our lives mapped out from beginning to end, so when we get to a fork in the road we panic and look to many things to help influence our decision. At the top of list is more than likely, "I need to get closer to God". 
     Yes, we do need to always strive to be closer to God and know him more intimately than we did before. But as i was reading this book God brought something to my heart, "Why do i want to know God"? That answer is taken all the way back in Genesis 3:4-7 when Adam and Eve believed the serpent and ate from the tree God forbid them to eat from. She ate from the tree because she wanted to know what God knew, to have his power. This is us still today, we want answers, we want to know Gods will for our life so we come to the conclusion of "let me get closer so he will reveal things to me." 
     Some know this already but I feel in my heart that God is calling me to the mission field. A few years ago i had my whole life planned out and in just a short moment God turned my world and desires upside down. After i felt his call i had no idea what i was going to do as far as college, what type of ministry, what my title would be or anything. I was confused on why God would call a sinful, small town girl like me to preach to his nations. I wanted answers. As i look back on the last few years and me growing closer to God, I see how each experience I've been through has combined into my testimony, how it is leading up to me pursuing this call. At times I will admit, i felt guilty and felt like i wasnt growing in my walk when really i was, Joyce Meyer said it best, "We live a life going forward but understand it backwards".  Throughout these last few years I have prayed, fasted, and pursued God, why though? At times i was guilty of only wanting to be closer to God because i constantly needed more confirmation. It was like i needed him to come down and look me in the eyes and tell me what to do. I wanted it written out for me and I am realizing it has been written out all along, Matthew 28:19, God commanding us to Make disciples of all the nations. Which includes our own communities too. He had already revealed my call to me but I was not satisfied, I needed more direction. We have his word and the relationship with him and we look to prayer as our last resort at times. Its like we try out everything else for answers before trusting the one who really knows, for instance, we run to the phone before running to the throne. I am guilty of this just as much as anyone else. 
     To get to my point, It is beautiful to want to know God more intimately, to grow deeper in your relationship with him. But, we as followers of Christ need to look at our intentions and our heart while doing this. A few weeks ago i fasted makeup, fast food, and social media, things that were a sacrifice for me because i am so dependent on those. As i look back i didn't fast because i was wanting to give that up for my love of God and to know him more intimately because of who he is, I fasted, hoping for some spiritual breakthrough and confirmation of my calling. I thought if i gave up things that i depend on that wasn't him he would give me all of the answers i needed to trust him. Why do we do this? Why are we so selfish that we desire to grow closer to God for our convenience, his love is so great for us that our minds don't even have the ability to comprehend it. He loved us so much that he sent his son, Jesus who was to be spat upon, tortured, mocked, and to die in our place when we were so lost, flawed, and sinful. We do not deserve Gods love, we do not deserve the answers, or anything to be made convenient for us. But we still receive peace, mercy, love, hope because of Gods grace on our lives. I am learning as i grow closer in my walk with the Lord, this temporary life is nothing about me, it is all for Gods glory, he just chose for me to take part in his mission. 
    I am hoping and praying that this blog post has opened your eyes to areas of your life that you need to open up and acknowledge. I hope that we will all, as followers of Christ desire to know him simply for who he is rather than him just answering all of our questions. 

True Repentance

      I was just reading in a devotion plan I am doing and some things were laid on my heart. Some things that I think this microwave genre of Christianity society is often guilty of. And yes, I myself have been apart of this many times before. So what I am going to bring to your attention is how much we love to sin-repent-commit same sin- repent-and continue sinning until eventually you are just caught up in a never ending cycle in your life. That cycle will leave you bitter, restless, cowardly, broken, angry, depressed, and having such strong feelings of unworthiness. We too often find ourselves picking back up the very issue we already laid down at the Lords feet.
     Identity has been such a tremendous issue and was a barrier between me and God for so long. I allowed satan to run my mind and my heart and that resulted in me having a negative outlook on everything. So many times after I first became a Christian he would come at me with thoughts about how I thought of myself and I would entertain the lies in my mind and often act on it. I would be so weak because even though I knew who I was in Christ, I didn't fully understand what this meant. You see, the cross is a symbol to us. It is a symbol of the suffering Jesus did to separate you and I from that barrier that gets put up between us and the one who loves us most. Jesus came and lived the life we can't, he has been through everything we have but he conquered the enemy and God sees us blameless because of Jesus' death. We get so caught up in fighting our battles alone because we forget that the battle has already been won and the enemy has already been defeated. The devil is nothing and he is only as much influence in our lives as we allow him to be.
     The power of repentance is not a never ending gift certificate that says that you keep on committing the same sin and at the end of every day ask me for forgiveness, Repentance was not meant or something we think ahead of time like, "oh, God is a forgiving God so I can go do this or that secular thing and when I get home pray and everything will be alright." NO NO NO. Do not believe those lies that the enemy is telling you. Repentance means to turn completely away from something. When we repent and ask God to forgive us for what ever it is we have done, he does and he always will. But when we do that we need to be sincere about repentance and fully understand that we need to completely walk in the opposite direction of whatever that sin was. When we get into the habit of being the "repent-sin cycle Christian" we will end up being stuck in that sin for longer than we thought. When we dabble around in sin we stay longer than we intend to and slip further than we intend to. The flesh is so deceived by what this world says about Christianity. It is so crucial that we learn to sincerely repent and go towards Jesus and not the sin that satan makes look so good at the time. "Live in the freedom Christ has given, you have been forgiven. Not freedom to in but freedom from sin." God freed us from the sin that we struggle with, he didn't give us the gift to sin as much as we want knowing the outcome of forgiveness.

"Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered."
Romans 4:7

    

Take Up Your Cross

     Being a Christian is not something you do two days a week. It is not praying to God when you're only in trouble or only when you want something. It is not circling the "Christian" box on a random survey because you don't really believe in another religion and you believe in God. Being a Christian is not saying you're a Christian because that's what your parents claim to be.
    So... With those things being said, what is a Christian? To me, a Christian is DAILY, and I mean an EVERYDAY walk with God. It is praying and trusting in him during both good times and the bad. It is taking up your cross daily and denying yourself and truly following him. It is forgetting about self views and discovering who you are in Christ. Being a Christian everyday is striving to be more like Jesus. It is realizing how loved by God you are and wanting to spread that love with everyone you pass. It is realizing your sole purpose for being on earth. Everyone is called to a mission field, whether that be ministry, teaching, nursing, whatever it is. God put you where you are for a purpose. Minister and reach out to people, trust God to help you make disciples for his kingdom.
     Something that I often think about is the beauty of the Gospel. I know people say all the time "Jesus loves you, he died on the cross for you." But I think people fail to realize what this truly mean, they have heard it so much that its become just a thing all the Christians say. Think about it this way, in more depth, Jesus came on this earth and he went through everything we go through daily, think about this now, he was tempted and tested and he stood strong and NEVER sinned. We sin daily and we fall short and mess up. Jesus was perfect, without blemish and yet he came here because God wanted to make a way for us to go to Heaven. Jesus came here, was nailed to a cross and suffered for YOU. He was spat upon, mocked, beaten, and much more. Think about this, God didn't need us to further his kingdom, he could do it all on his own BUT he CHOSE to let us be apart of this great journey. If Jesus wouldn't have done what he did on the cross, we would spend our eternity's burning in hell with the enemy. Take some time to truly reflect on how much God loves you and what Jesus saved us from.
     Following Jesus isn't easy, I'll be the first one to admit that. But it makes it easier to follow him when you truly realize Gods love for you and what he did for you. Over the past three years I have grown so much in my walk with God. I was someone who was so insecure and lost. Jesus got ahold of me and has changed my life forever. Even on the harder days I have so much joy because I am reminded who I am in Christ. I mess up everyday and I make mistakes and I have done things im not proud of but Jesus picks me up each day and causes me to brush it off and keep going. I have souls all around me to win for Christ and I will not stop following Jesus for anything or anyone. He is my whole life and the only reason I am living and breathing today. Friends, if you aren't on this amazing rollercoaster with me, I encourage you to take up your cross and follow Jesus. I am willing to talk to anyone who needs a listening ear or a prayer pal. Don't be afraid to call, text, message me. I will be more than happy to share the Gospel with you. No soul is too far gone to turn around and let God change your life. He loves you and nothing you could ever do would change that. I love yall and I am praying for everyone reading this. Be bold and take a stand for Christ, this nation needs willing people now more than ever. Deciding to give up controlling your own life isn't easy, but its worth it and I am so thankful I made the decision to follow Jesus.

"Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion; instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot; therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion; they shall have everlasting joy."
Isaiah 61:7

"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from Heaven and forgive their sins and restore their land."
2 Chronicles 7:14
   

The Power of Christ.

   The past week has definitely been hard and challenging. I know for people, even Christians we wonder sometimes why bad things happen. We ask ourselves questions like "why me" or "what purpose does this have". The thing is though, when we think about things we need to remember that we only use a small part of our brain. We only see the now and the past but God sees the future and the outcome. He has a purpose for every step we take in life (Jeremiah 29:11). 

   You may think your problems and what you're going through isn't important or you aren't important but you are. God loves us all the same no matter what kind of person you are. If there is one lost person and there's 99 others, God will go after the lost one and celebrate in Heaven because of that one saved soul (Luke 15:4-7).God does amazing work through our struggles. I have never publicly shared my full testimony because I didn't know how people would respond but it's apart of me and my story and testimonies are important because you never know who can relate. I want to express how God got ahold of me when he did. After so much going back and forth on if I should share it, I decided to because it has been on my heart heavily for awhile now. 

   People will usually only see what you show to them, and it is so easy to put a mask on your life and hide what you're going through. Our struggles can either make us better or just destroy us. You don't have to let yourself live in the ways of this world. You don't have to continue walking in sin just because it's the norm. You dont have to fit in with everyone else. Following Jesus seems so intimidating at first because it does interfere with your life, but you have to realize that you will never really lose him. I don't believe in Jesus everyday because I'm trying to simply get his acceptance. I can't do anything to make God love me more. I don't work for Christ for acceptance, I do it from acceptance. Jesus paid our debt and died a death we deserve everyday from falling short. I believe with everything in me that if he can change me, he can change you.  

   The power of your mistakes can either help you or harm you. You can either learn from them and grow or just continue going back to old habits. You're gonna mess up, you're not perfect. Jesus is the perfect one and he has paid for your sin. Strive to be more like him because you love him and want to honor him, and help others do the same, not from your worry to make him love you more. 

   I have always been the person who is insecure and who worries about what people think. That has been my biggest struggle that I have had to over come. I always worried about my body and how I looked. In the 9th grade I started to develop unhealthy habits to make myself lose weight. Doing that sent me on a downward spiral that only God could heal me from. The thing is, when you start to do things, you tell yourself "oh I will handle it, it's not going to control my life." The truth is, that is such a dangerous thought because when playing around in sin and going with your own will it consumes you. It takes ahold of your life and before you know it you've hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom one time, I hid my feelings from everyone and tried to deal with them on my own. I finally opened up to someone and she showed me who Jesus is, she assured me that him and only him could save me. I didn't realize it at the time of course but God was working through her the whole time of my struggles and he was reaching out and drawing me closer to him. My church and my youth group also had a huge impact on my walk with Christ, the series each week always felt like it was made just for me. I will be forever thankful for the people God has put in my path to help me grow and know him better. I realized I didn't need to do things to change my body image, I had to give my struggle to the one who struggled for me on the cross. God took my heart and started to change me and my views day by day. I know that my identity isn't in my insecurity. MY IDENTITY IS IN CHRIST. 

   All of you people who have seen my change over the years, especially my classmates. And they can tell you how I used to act compared to now.. They remind me all the time. Lol. I just wanted you to know how God can take a girl who always longed for acceptance from the people around me, has learned to live from the acceptance God has given me. I don't know what you're going through and I don't know why bad things happen. I do know, though, that every struggle is a blessing in disguise. God can use your story in amazing ways. He can use you in people's lives and you not even realize it. If you don't know Jesus, or you are just unsure about the whole Christian thing message me, call me, or meet up with me. I promise I will do anything I can to help you and give you someone to be there. Even though you're a Christian, there will still be struggles and you will fall short, but God is there to help you through it all. The life following Christ isn't always easy, but it is SO worth it. 

   If I have ever seemed pushy or abnoxious for you to follow Jesus, it's because I've seen his mighty power work in me and I want you to have what I do. If he can get me through everything he has, he can get you through it too. 

Don't forget God loves you and I love you. You are in my prayers. 

Drought or Rain Poor?

   It is amazing to me how during the tough times our eyes get opened. It is however, usually after we get on down the road that we realize what God was doing. I feel like every Christian sometimes goes through a period of what I would call a "drought". A time when you feel like you aren't progressing and growing in your walk with Christ. I know that I've felt like this many times. Only later I realized that it wasn't a "drought" at all. God was really shooting down some rain harder than I can even grasp. And I don't mean real rain, I mean he was putting me in situation after situation trying to get me to fight back and overcome what I was going through.

        I believe God tests us sometimes, to see our true faith or really for us to see our true faith, because he does already know the outcome.. When times come and we feel like we don't know where to turn and what to do that's when we need to be dependent on God to show us the way and to never stop praying. Even if you feel like he's not hearing you, he is. Without prayer you will begin to slip and probably slip a lot further than you had ever intended. 

        I'll be the first to admit that it is so easy to get caught up in what's going on in the world, and how it's easy to be more like the world than be more like Jesus. We are faced with everyday peer pressure and influences where sometimes you feel like you need to fit in. To be honest that's not what we're here for. God created us for one purpose that is to be a light in this world and to make disciples for Jesus. It is so amazing to me because God didn't need us, he could work out his design all on his own but instead he chose us to be a part of it. We are always looking for, and I know I do this daily, look for validation and acceptance from the people around us. We aren't here to impress them, were here to influence them. I know it's easier said than done but being an example and witnessing to people doesn't have to be an extravagant, crazy thing. It can be holding a door, or smiling at someone, asking them how their day is going ( and really meaning it).. It can be helping with the chores without being told (lol I need to do this more), not arguing back when you get in trouble. It can be simple things like that that let people know you're different. Being a humble, happy follower of Jesus will make others want what you have. Whether you believe that's true or not. 

     I want people to understand, both Christians and non christians that becoming a Christian isn't going to make your life perfect or make you do the right thing every single time you're challenged. But being a Christian does however, give you the opportunity to fall deeply in love with the only person ever to be eligible to take away the death of sin of all people. It gives you access to the Lord and Savior of the world and everyone in it. It lets you know that no matter how hard life gets that with Jesus holding your hand that there is hope and you do have a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). You will fall short and mess up but that won't ever change Gods love for you. 

     I hope that people realize that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not about being transported to Heaven. It's about being transformed by the blood of the lamb. Walking with God does that to your life and to your heart, if you let him. If you truly fall in love with the son you will see that everything you go through and every hard time you face is just an opportunity to grow closer to Him. I know that everyone goes through different things and some may be more painful than others but I do know that whatever you're going through now, have went through, or will go through that God has a purpose for it. I also know that you are not the only one struggling with whatever it is. You can do one of two things with your battles, let them destroy you and mess up your life or use them to help someone else get through it. I personally recommend the second option. You really don't know the difference you can make in someone life until you do it. So quit being shy and talk to people. 

    If you do or you don't know Jesus, you are in my prayers. I pray for the one that doesn't know Jesus that he will allow people to come into your life and to be a true example of the Gospel. To love you on the days you don't even love yourself and to be there to wipe your tears and put a smile on your face. And I'll pray that you will not think bad of Jesus when you see a Christian mess up. We are still human and every one is going to make mistakes, that's the purpose of Jesus dying for us was to wipe us clean of those sins. To the Christian, I pray that you will be that example. To be a light in someones life and to never stop believing and to trust in God to keep your path straight. I pray that you won't be influenced by what the world is doing but to be the rare influence to the world. To never back down and to always stand up for the truth of The Gospel. Don't ever let your mistakes break you, use them to help someone else. I pray that you will be a giver, a lover, a listener. And so much more. Don't ever stop praying and always trust God because he will never lead you wrong. I also pray all of those things for myself, because I know that I'm just as imperfect as anyone else.. 

Culture Vs. Truth

What is wrong with our culture today?

 

So, lately I've caught myself in conversations with my friends and people talking about different things like them partying, who they're sleeping with, or just whatever they're doing. The thing is, most of them claim to be Christians but it makes me wonder, what do they honestly know about Jesus? Have they really let him in and let him takeover their lives? I've been reading a book called "Jesus + Nothing = Everything" and man have my eyes been opened. This book talks about how we live in an era today where people are claiming to be Christians but its without Christ. Our world has become so accepting of things that the bible doesn't accept. Its like truth doesn't matter any more. We are all about being comfortable and not wanting to cause conflict or offend anyone when really we need to be working to preach THE GOSPEL. We don't need to be accepting a Christless Christianity.

I believe the churches need more truth and less comfort.The bible is supposed be a road map for us, to get us closer to God and to help us know more about him. If we're not preaching everything that's in it then how are people supposed to be provoked to respond? You know sometimes we need tough love, not just to hear a certain few verses all the time. If it was put into that book, it was meant for us to hear and to share.

We fill our souls with so much crap that doesn't get us anywhere in life, we fill it with things like sex, money, greed, alcohol, jealousy, and many more things I could go on and on about. A C.S Lewis quote that really puts an emphasis on this is "We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." So much truth is in that and I especially admire the last sentence. You guys, we are offered an eternity spent with our creator in Heaven, a life with meaning and purpose, which will actually get you to a destination. What will sleeping with your boyfriend get you? Or going to the bar that night? Just a few moments of self satisfaction when you have a lifetime of greatness at your fingertips. Being a follower of Jesus isn't about being "happy" its about realizing that he separated that barrier between us and God. He took away the sin, washed us white as snow, but we still seek other things to save us. We need to realize every moment of our lives that we are already saved, Jesus did the hard part and we got off easy. Why do we even desire settling for less?

The reason is we believe what satan is offering, what the culture is offering. It wants us to "find ourselves", "be you", "pursue happiness", "follow your heart." These are lies we go after when really we need to be after, "finding Jesus", "Be like Jesus", "Pursue God", "Follow Jesus". I keep going back to our culture wanting comfort because that's how it is nowadays. Why not step out of our comfort zones and go after meaningful things? Why not help eachother pursue God and the real truth?

The past two years I have really learned a lot about who I am in Christ, who He is, and what He has done for me. He saved me, died for me, took away my sins when I deserved to be on the cross (and still do.) I don't want you to think that I see myself as a perfect person or someone who is always truly pursuing Christ or always doing the right thing. The truth is, I mess up and go through stuff like any one else in this world. Sometimes I may believe the lies this world puts out. Im weak, but I can be weak because I know Jesus is strong for me. That's the thing, I do believe when we fall more in love with Jesus we begin to see things in a different perspective. Like the hard stuff we face is really an obstacle that will make growth happen. Sometimes I do feel like im distant from God, but I know that's my issue and something I caused, not Him. Hes always near even when I feel like He isn't.

Theres many more things id like to talk about but I just really want to put an emphasis on this, don't believe the lies of this world and don't pursue comfort. Trust God and put him first. Believe the Gospel and fall in love with Jesus because He has honestly made my life worth living. Even on the days I feel like I want to give up I know that deep down I don't want that. Follow Jesus, not your heart because your heart is very deceiving and our feelings change like crazy. Lets be all in with Jesus!! Whos with me?

I recommend you check out the book "Jesus +Nothing=Everything." Its a true eye opener.



....

So i don't really know what to call this or anything and i know that it isn't going to be exactly proper grammar but i feel like God is laying some things on my heart and i just want to write about it. Anyways, do you ever feel like sometimes things are going so great and steady in your life, like your relationship with God is on track and your just moving right along living some perfect life? I felt like that for awhile after becoming a Christian but as im growing in my walk with God i realize everyday that my life is not going to be perfect all the time and neither is anyone elses. In life crazy things sometimes get thrown at us but what do we do? Give up and stray away from God and the truth or do we put on the full Armour of God and battle it? I really believe that God has a specific plan and purpose for each and everyone of our lives but we need to always be prepared for anything that comes our way and have faith in God that he has a reason for it. When tough things happen in our life Satan is going to try and take advantage of our mind but we cant let him do that. We can trust our God, he knows what he is doing even if we don't. A couple scriptures that i think go good with this is:

Romans 8:28 

"God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to your life"

Jeremiah 29:11

"For i know the plans i have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future"